Do Most Guys Ask You Out Again Right Away

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A guy has asked you lot out, or you know that he'south planning to. It'south hard to say the correct thing, peculiarly if you've never been in this state of affairs earlier! Whether your answer is 100% "Yes!", absolutely "No.", or a definite "Perchance," you might exist wondering what exactly yous should say to him. Don't worry—this article breaks downwards all of the different things you lot can say depending on what your answer is.

1. ane

   Make certain that y'all like this guy. Ask yourself whether you are actually interested in this guy, or if you lot're simply flattered that he took an involvement in you. If you bear upon base with your feelings and find that y'all're a wholehearted "Yep!!" on this guy, so feel gratis to accept his offer. If you're lukewarm about him, but you feel bad saying no, consider whether it volition be easier to pass up him now or afterward.^[1]

2. two

   Find out what he expects from you lot. Some guys will ask y'all out on a beginning appointment to a park, a dance, or the movies just to spend time with you and get to know you lot better.^[2] Especially if you're in unproblematic school, middle schoolhouse, or high schoolhouse, guys might ask you to exist their girlfriend without arranging a "appointment". This could mean that he wants to consume lunch together, or walk habitation together, or hold hands, or more. Some guys might only ask you to be their date to a dance or another event.

   • Don't be afraid to inquire him what he means. If you similar him, but he isn't articulate near what he wants from you, it is completely your identify to ask further. If he says something every bit vague as, "Will yous leave with me?", y'all can say, "Sure! What did you have in mind?"
   • If it'south a group event, make sure that he is inviting you lot explicitly as his "appointment". If he invites you along with him and his friends, information technology probably ways that he likes you, but it doesn't necessarily mean that he's asking y'all to exist his girlfriend withal. It might be a manner for him to get to know you ameliorate, or to guess whether y'all similar him back before he makes a big move.

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3. 3

   Say yeah. Your exact response depends on his question. Call back about what exactly he is asking y'all to do, and take his request if you experience comfortable with it. You tin can say something similar:

   • "Aye, I'd love to."
   • "Definitely, that sounds great!"
   • "Yes, it's a date!"
   • "Of course I would."
   • "Sure, what practice you want to do?"
   • "That sounds fun!"

4. 4

   Go the details. If the guy asks you out on a first date, make certain that you get the fourth dimension and place. Effigy out whether he is going to pick yous upwardly, or whether he plans to meet you there. Find out if it's a group upshot or just the ii of you. Make certain that you're available on that day, at that time, and that you lot don't have whatsoever prior plans.

   • You don't need to get the details before you say yes. The point isn't the event – it'south that this guy wants to spend time with you. If y'all desire to spend time with him, simply agree to become to the upshot, and work out the details later.
   • Don't be afraid to reschedule if you have a disharmonize. If y'all really want to evidence him that you lot're interested, offer an alternative. Say, "I'd beloved to go to the movie with you, but I'g going to a friend'due south altogether party on Friday night. Could we go on Saturday instead?"

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1. 1

   Explain your reasons for maxim no. Be honest. Yous don't demand to over-justify your conclusion; information technology is enough if y'all simply aren't attracted to this guy. You lot may exist attracted to the guy, but yous tin't accept his offer for some reason – mayhap your friend likes him, or your parents won't allow you appointment, or you don't feel that you're set for a relationship. No affair the situation, it'due south important that you are honest with this guy and with yourself.^[iii]

   • If you aren't attracted to the guy, that'southward all you lot need to say. Don't exist mean well-nigh it, and don't insult him. Say, "I similar our friendship, but I'm not attracted to you lot in that way."
   • If your friend likes him, do not spill the secret – unless your friend says that it's okay. Just tell the guy that you lot aren't interested, and don't hint that there is whatsoever other reason behind your choice.
   • If your parents won't allow y'all date, feel free to be honest with the guy. Be careful, however, about leading him on or giving him hope. If y'all tell him that you have a huge crush on him, simply that yous can't date him, you lot may not stop his advances.
   • If you don't experience that you're ready for a relationship, that's okay. You lot will find someone in your own time, and it will be and so much better if your unabridged center is in information technology. This guy might be the first i to enquire y'all out, but he won't be the final.^[four]

2. 2

   Exist clear and straightforward. Don't brand excuses, and don't agree to go on a engagement just to exist nice. No doubt, he'd prefer a "aye" over a "no" – just odds are that he'd rather bargain with an immediate rejection than force you to go on a pity-date.

3. 3

   Exist quick near it. Say something uncomplicated like, "I'k sorry, but I don't similar you in that fashion." You don't demand to explicate in great detail why you aren't interested; y'all just need to get the main idea across. Effort non to humiliate him with a long, drawn-out speech.

   • If he asks for specific reasons, feel complimentary to explicate why you aren't interested. Make sure that you don't let it get a debate, and don't permit him talk you into going out with him. Exist house and articulate. Do not compromise.
   • If you are friends with the guy, you lot tin can cite this equally a reason. Say, "I love our friendship, only I'm not romantically attracted to you. Tin nosotros keep our friendship how information technology is?"

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1. 1

   Take your fourth dimension to think it over. If you aren't sure, or if yous haven't had much dating experience, y'all might non exist able to requite this guy a solid yes or no answer right away. Tell him that you lot need to think virtually it, merely that you'll give him a definite answer in the next few days. Attempt non to keep him guessing for also long – if he really likes you, he'll be anxiously pending your reply.^[5]

   • Make sure that you give him some sort of answer, even if you just explain why you tin't give him a more definite answer yet. Information technology takes courage to ask out someone that you actually like, and the least you can do is acknowledge that you're thinking nigh it. This is peculiarly of import if he asks you out via text, electronic mail, or instant messaging: if you lot don't reply, he will have nothing to do but speculate!^[6]

2. 2

   Ask your friends and family for advice. Make sure to just ask people that you trust. Describe the situation, explain why y'all aren't sure, and weigh out the pros and cons of saying aye or no. Call back: yous don't demand to take anyone's communication, simply it might help you better understand your own feelings. If you don't feel comfortable request anyone, make a list of the pros and cons and try to decide on your own.

3. 3

   Give the guy a clear answer. Try to make your response as close as possible to "yes" or "no", particularly if it's provisional. Once y'all've thought through your pick, get the guy one-on-ane and tell him what y'all've decided. If yous can't get him alone face-to-face, send him a text or an instant bulletin.

   • You don't need to explain your thought process, especially if had major qualms about going out with this guy. If yous're comfortable doing and so, all the same, it might help the guy sympathize why you took so long to respond him.

4. 4

   Take the time to go to know him meliorate. There's no rush. You don't demand to appointment him right this instant; if he respects you, he'll be patient and wait until you experience comfortable.^[7]

   • Tell him, "I like you, but I want to get to know you meliorate before I commit to a relationship. Let's hang out as friends and run across what happens."
   • If yous want to say yes, but are not ready to have a relationship nevertheless, you could say "I want to appointment you. I want to hold your hand. I want to kiss y'all, but I don't call up I'g fix for a relationship yet." Requite him a pocket-sized peck on the cheek to bear witness y'all hateful it.

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Add New Question

• Question

  Is information technology OK if I don't answer him right away?

  

  John Keegan is a dating charabanc and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to assistance people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

  

  Dating Coach

  Adept Answer

  Totally! You don't accept to rush annihilation if you aren't ready, and there'south nil wrong with telling him you need to think about it for a scrap.

• Question

  I asked a girl out and she said she'll recall about it but she hasn't responded. Should I ask again?

  

  John Keegan is a dating omnibus and motivational speaker based in New York Urban center. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to aid people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men'south Wellness.

  

  Dating Coach

  Expert Respond

  Absolutely not. Give her fourth dimension to retrieve information technology over and she'll become dorsum to you. If she doesn't, let information technology become. There are always other fish in the sea!

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Commodity Summary X

Information technology can be tough to know how to answer when a guy asks you lot out, but there's no demand to stress if yous stay truthful to your feelings. To buy some time, try asking him what kind of date he has in mind. If yous're still not sure how to answer, don't be agape to say that yous need a little fourth dimension to call back virtually it. After you've taken some time, give him an answer that clearly indicates "yes" or "no." If yous have complicated feelings or desire to have it slow, say something like, "I want to date you, simply I don't think I'm fix for a relationship yet." However, if you lot decide to say yeah, simply smiling and say, "Yes, I'd dearest to," so schedule your date. For more advice, including how to say no to a date, read on.

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